Exploring Senior Loneliness and Matchmaking in Shanghai’s People’s Park

Behind the Scenes: Discovering Love Among Lonely Seniors in Shanghai

Times Insider provides a glimpse into who we are and what we do, offering behind-the-scenes insights into how our journalism unfolds. Sometimes, the most rewarding stories are the ones that emerge unexpectedly.

This was certainly the case with my recent article exploring the lives of lonely seniors in Shanghai who are seeking companionship. As the Shanghai bureau chief for The New York Times, I frequently cover the shifting dynamics of relationships in China, particularly the growing trend of young people opting out of marriage. This societal shift has sent parents and the government into a state of alarm. In China, it remains relatively rare for unmarried individuals to have children, leading to fewer grandchildren for anxious parents and contributing to a looming demographic crisis.

Intrigued by this phenomenon, I wanted to connect with aspiring grandparents who flock to People’s Park in Shanghai every weekend, hoping to find matches for their adult children. This park is akin to Central Park in New York City—a vibrant hub of social interaction. It is also famously known as China’s largest “marriage market,” where parents come equipped with résumés of their unmarried offspring, eager to facilitate romantic connections.

In this unique setting, parents openly discuss the personal attributes of their children, sharing details such as height and weight, while boasting about academic achievements like high I.Q. scores and impressive test results. Occasionally, they might reveal a candid concern, like how their child “doesn’t call home often enough.”

On a Sunday in March, I ventured to People’s Park accompanied by Li You, a diligent news researcher for The Times. Together, we spent hours engaging with parents who were there on a mission. Some parents had discreetly kept their visits to the marriage market hidden from their children, while others seemed to acknowledge, albeit reluctantly, that their matchmaking efforts might be in vain.

However, as is often the case with sensitive topics such as family and love, many individuals were hesitant to share their names for our story. It appeared that some parents strongly wished to keep their matchmaking activities under wraps. Ultimately, we decided to leave the park, reflecting on the complexities of love, family expectations, and the pursuit of happiness in an ever-evolving society.