Navigating Awkward Workplace Situations: Body Odor and CEO Lunches

Check, Please

My first week at my job, the C.E.O. took me out to lunch. During our meal, he explained that he has a tradition of taking one employee out to lunch each week in a rotating fashion. The purpose is to discuss their role and gather feedback on how operations could improve. However, I found our initial lunch quite uncomfortable and have started to dread the upcoming ones. My role primarily involves answering phone calls, which means that work-related topics are typically resolved much quicker than the hour and a half we’re allocated for lunch. As a result, our conversations often veer into personal territory, a direction I find disconcerting. To complicate matters, the C.E.O. happens to be my least favorite person at the company; I perceive him as brash, immature, and quite irritating. Just last week, when I was supposed to join him for lunch, I requested a formal meeting in the conference room instead to discuss my job performance. After some back-and-forth negotiation, he finally consented, but during the meeting, he emphasized how important these lunches are to him. None of my colleagues seem to have an issue with these lunches. Am I in the wrong for wanting to avoid this awkward situation?— Anonymous

You’re not wrong. Your feelings are valid, and while it’s common for conversations to shift towards personal matters, your discomfort is significant and deserves attention. The next time the C.E.O. invites you to lunch, kindly express your preference for a more formal meeting setting again, making it clear that you would like this arrangement to be respected moving forward. If he inquires about your reasoning, you can simply state that you wish to maintain a strictly professional relationship and avoid casual interactions. There’s no need to apologize or elaborate excessively. Additionally, consider asking him for professional feedback in writing, after which you can propose a one-on-one meeting in the office.

A Smelly Situation

I work closely with a woman who has a pronounced body odor and struggles with her hygiene. We’ve been colleagues for two decades, and she has been informed several times that her odor presents a problem (which has often led to tears). The only time there was noticeable improvement occurred a few years ago when she was told that she wouldn’t be invited to meetings until she addressed this issue. She sought medical advice and was prescribed medication, which alleviated the worst of the problem. However, we now seem to be back to the same old situation, complete with mildew and the scent of unwashed laundry. One of my co-workers believes that having another conversation would be hurtful. I feel resentful that this issue has resurfaced and am reluctant to initiate another discussion. Consulting someone higher up the chain won’t be effective; after all, she holds a senior position!— The Golden State

This is indeed a challenging situation. It’s complex and sensitive. However, there are a few critical details missing from your message. First, who was responsible for informing her in the past that her odor was problematic? Was it you or someone else? Understanding this could help me provide more tailored advice on navigating this delicate matter. Ideally, someone in a superior role would gently address the issue, and that would resolve it.

Unfortunately, that’s the ideal scenario, not the reality you’re facing. Your co-worker is likely correct: bringing up the topic again may be very hurtful to her, especially considering her position in the company. Nevertheless, I believe it’s worth attempting to address the issue once more. It’s possible that your colleague has been dealing with a particularly stubborn body odor for which there may be limited solutions, other than medication. You might consider asking her if she is still taking the prescribed medication, explaining that the odor problem has resurfaced and become noticeable again. Approach her with compassion, acknowledging that this is a difficult conversation for both of you, and express your desire to be as respectful and supportive as possible.