The Silent Struggles of Survivors: A Story from Kherson

Warning: This story discusses sexual violence.

Oleksiy Sivak, a 40-year-old man from the coastal city of Kherson, has discovered solace in the power of conversation. Before the full-scale invasion of Ukraine by Russia in 2022, he dedicated nearly two decades of his life to the maritime industry, serving as a sailor across international merchant and passenger fleets. The sea became not just his workplace, but an integral part of his identity.

“But the invasion shattered my career and my way of life,” Sivak recalls, speaking to Euronews. As Russian forces launched their assault on Ukraine, they quickly seized control of Kherson, hoping to establish a puppet regime akin to the Donbas region. For six months, the city fell under the dark shadow of occupation, during which time the occupiers set up detention facilities to suppress any resistance.

Sivak recounts a harrowing experience: he was unlawfully detained and subjected to torture at the hands of Russian soldiers for two of those six months. “I endured both physical and psychological torture, including sexual violence,” he reveals. The city was liberated in November 2022, allowing Sivak to escape his captors. “During the liberation, our invaders fled,” he explains. “I was fortunate; there was no room for me in the vehicle transporting other prisoners, so I was simply set free without documents, yet I managed to make my way home.”

This marked the beginning of a long and arduous journey for Sivak. “Everything changed during my captivity,” he admits.

UN Reports on Sexual Violence: A Grim Reality

Extensive evidence has emerged indicating that Russia has systematically weaponized sexual violence—encompassing acts such as rape, genital mutilation, forced nudity, and other forms of torture—against men and boys in Ukraine over the past two years. Such actions fall under the definition of war crimes according to international law.

The latest report from the United Nations Security Council regarding conflict-related sexual violence indicates that the investigatory body has documented 263 cases perpetrated by Russian armed forces, law enforcement, and penitentiary services against civilians and prisoners of war in Ukraine since the onset of the full-scale invasion in 2022. Notably, over half of the identified victims are male (163), with 83 being female, including 10 underage girls and two boys.

Prior reports from Human Rights Watch have corroborated the use of sexual violence against men by Russian authorities, revealing that specific detention facilities have been constructed for confinement, interrogation, torture, and execution in regions like Kherson. A subsequent report by the UN’s human rights office, OHCHR, highlighted that these atrocities often accompany severe physical abuse, including beatings, strangulation, and threats of sexual violence.

Among the harrowing testimonies documented, one Ukrainian prisoner detailed an attempted rape with a PVC pipe during an interrogation, while another survivor recounted being forced to undress and subjected to electric shocks to his genitals, with threats of rape looming over him.

Throughout the months of imprisonment and torture, Sivak found a glimmer of hope in the camaraderie of his fellow inmates. “We became each other’s psychologists and confidants,” he reflects. “Their jokes, empathy, and simple gestures of kindness provided us with a lifeline.”

Creating a Safe Haven for Survivors

Sivak estimates that “thousands” of Ukrainian men carry the deep scars of sexual violence inflicted by the Russians. Meanwhile, many others remain unaccounted for—approximately 37,000 Ukrainians, including civilians and children, are believed to be held in Russian prisons, according to the Ukrainian ombudsman’s office.

In response to this dire situation, Sivak founded an organization called Alumni about a year ago. This initiative offers peer-to-peer mental health support for men, featuring regular in-person meetups, workshops, referrals, and soon, online services. The goal is to create a supportive network for other survivors, fostering open conversations about their experiences.

Importantly, Sivak emphasizes that Alumni does not aim to “treat” individuals but rather helps them forge a new path in life. “We assist them in acknowledging their past without erasing it, allowing them to integrate their experiences into their journey forward,” he states.

Alumni serves as a sanctuary for survivors to confront their trauma and learn how to coexist with it, a monumental challenge that will shape their futures. “We do this not only for ourselves and our brothers but especially for those who are still enduring captivity and torment,” Sivak asserts. “While we cannot change the past, we strive to make the present bearable and the future brighter for all who have suffered.”

The aftermath of such trauma often leaves survivors with a multitude of injuries, both physical and psychological, including post-traumatic stress disorder. UN Secretary-General António Guterres remarked in June that the ramifications of conflict-related sexual violence are enduring and destructive, unraveling the very fabric of communities.

A Journey Towards Healing

Oleksandr Reshetov, a lifelong resident of Kherson, shares a similar story. At 34, he cherishes the memories of his first love and close friendships formed in this cherished city. Before the war, he found satisfaction in running a furniture store, collecting antiques, and arranging flowers for his loved ones. “This city means the world to me,” he expresses.

However, in the wake of the ongoing conflict, Reshetov’s life has been irrevocably altered. “The war has reshaped my existence,” he states. “It has made me value what I have.”

Having experienced sexual violence at the hands of Russian forces, Reshetov initially turned to alcohol as a means of escape from his pain. He eventually attended an Alumni retreat in Mykolaiv, where he found the support he desperately needed. “I was treated not as a victim but as a friend. I felt a sense of belonging,” he reflects. “Despite our varied backgrounds, we united in our shared experiences.”

Through his involvement with Alumni, Reshetov has managed to curb his alcohol consumption and dedicate more time to his family. He has since stepped into the role of a mentor within the organization, eager to assist others who are navigating similar struggles. “I realized I was not alone; many have faced the same ordeal, including CRSV,” he says.

Understanding the Broader Implications of Violence

Charu Hogg, founder and director of the All Survivors Project, has dedicated her work to researching the experiences of men and boys who have survived sexual violence during conflict. Since its inception in 2016, her organization has engaged with survivors across various regions, from Afghanistan and Colombia to the Central African Republic. Yet, Hogg notes that Ukraine stands out for its alarming level of documented abuse.

The focus of her organization on male survivors—often overshadowed by the narratives surrounding female victims—is crucial, as these cases remain under-explored. “We are the only global organization addressing sexual violence against men and boys, focusing on access to justice, help, and prevention,” she explains.

Recently, All Survivors Project began collaborating with Alumni to identify the barriers male victims face in accessing healthcare. Over the next year, Hogg’s team will conduct interviews with Alumni members to gain insight into their experiences, aiming to enhance documentation and provide valuable information to Ukraine’s national prosecution agency.

The ultimate goal is to hold perpetrators accountable, a mission that various international bodies have pursued since these allegations surfaced. Two years ago, the International Criminal Court in The Hague issued an arrest warrant for Russian President Vladimir Putin, who dismissed these claims as “outrageous” and “unacceptable,” yet has provided no evidence to refute them.

The Power of Shared Voices

Sivak’s liberation coincided with the return of Ukrainian soldiers to Kherson. He believes the international community plays a vital role in addressing conflict-related sexual violence through support for Ukraine’s defense efforts and sanctions against aggressors. “To prevent such atrocities, there must be appropriate accountability,” he insists.

Moreover, he advocates for investments in programs such as those championed by All Survivors Project, which aim to aid survivors in their rehabilitation, reintegration, and adaptation to society.

As Sivak and his Alumni colleagues navigate their post-war realities, they face significant challenges, including family breakdown, social isolation, and mental health disorders stemming from traumatic experiences. For this reason, Alumni remains dedicated to fostering dialogue and connection among those living with the aftermath of such violence. Ensuring that survivors feel heard and supported by others who understand their struggles is central to the organization’s mission. “In English, ‘Alumni’ signifies a graduate or former student without a diploma. Yet it can also represent former prisoners,” he explains. “After our release, we didn’t stop talking; we kept the dialogue alive.”

If this story has raised issues for you and you are in Europe, please reach out to a country- and gender-specific support service for assistance.